The most important question to ask, Why?
Why? For many parents, this single question can evoke memories of torture and discomfort as a young child tried to make sense of the world. Why is the sky blue? Why do unicorns only have one horn? Why did that man yell at us? Why can’t I have a cookie? Why will it ruin my dinner? Why? Why? Why? All too soon, parents take shelter with “because I said so” or “because I am the adult and you are the child” or any other way to get the child to stop the incessant questioning that doesn’t really seem genuine.
While there are many things more traumatic than trying to get a child to stop asking why, it is important to recognize that “Why?” is the most powerful and important, even if it is annoying and challenging, questions that anyone can ask. “Why?” allows people to question the status quo. “Why?” allows people to find out the reason behind what is going on. “Why?” allows people to change their circumstances.
The problem with “Why?” is that it is a hard question. Not only are “Why?” questions perceived as automatically challenging and put the person who is being asked the question on the defensive, even when the asker is innocent of any accusatory tone, but they are also the questions that require the answerer to think about the response.
It isn’t always easy to answer “Why?” especially when you are expected to have the answer or you haven’t thought about the question before. While the American culture expects adults and those in power to have answers to all of the questions, it is okay to say “I don’t know, but I will find out.” Even when time is of the essence, it is okay to take time to think about the answer.
The only times that “Why?” questions are not okay are when they remain unasked or they are answered with lies or haste. The world could be better place if more people started asking the big “Why?” questions. Why do people have to go hungry? Why do 80 people have as much wealth as 3.5 billion people? Why does someone who is ill have to lose his or her lifesavings to get better? Why do we avoid our neighbors? Why do we hate each other?
“Why?” may not be the perfect question, but it is the best one for learning about the world and the cause behind actions. The answers may be personal and surprising, but the question is definitely worth asking.
While there are many things more traumatic than trying to get a child to stop asking why, it is important to recognize that “Why?” is the most powerful and important, even if it is annoying and challenging, questions that anyone can ask. “Why?” allows people to question the status quo. “Why?” allows people to find out the reason behind what is going on. “Why?” allows people to change their circumstances.
The problem with “Why?” is that it is a hard question. Not only are “Why?” questions perceived as automatically challenging and put the person who is being asked the question on the defensive, even when the asker is innocent of any accusatory tone, but they are also the questions that require the answerer to think about the response.
It isn’t always easy to answer “Why?” especially when you are expected to have the answer or you haven’t thought about the question before. While the American culture expects adults and those in power to have answers to all of the questions, it is okay to say “I don’t know, but I will find out.” Even when time is of the essence, it is okay to take time to think about the answer.
The only times that “Why?” questions are not okay are when they remain unasked or they are answered with lies or haste. The world could be better place if more people started asking the big “Why?” questions. Why do people have to go hungry? Why do 80 people have as much wealth as 3.5 billion people? Why does someone who is ill have to lose his or her lifesavings to get better? Why do we avoid our neighbors? Why do we hate each other?
“Why?” may not be the perfect question, but it is the best one for learning about the world and the cause behind actions. The answers may be personal and surprising, but the question is definitely worth asking.